Sacred Vigils.
By creating a vigil plan well ahead of time, you are letting others know how you want the atmosphere around you in your last days. Some of us will not have this option if we die suddenly but why not ask for what you want so if it happens, your loved ones will know what to do. This could be at home (if we are lucky), at a hospice, or even in a hospital room.
Some important items to consider…
Physical Pain Relief
Mental/Emotional Pain
Clothing
Comfort
Noise/Sounds
Food
Who is in attendance/Who is not in attendance?
Ambience
Grooming preferences
Spiritual and religious preferences or not...
How to write a eulogy
It’s such an honor to be asked to speak at memorials but so many of us become paralyzed, and are scared of our emotions, public speaking and not doing the honoree justice. These are some tips from people who have experience. The most important thing is to pay attention to how the person lived and draw the most meaningful memorable bits…
Aim for 1000 words
Start with a story
Always write it down
Introduce yourself
Be humorous, personal and conversational
Close with a direct address to the person, “Margaret, Thank you for teaching me how to be a good mother…”
Make it true, personal and original
What to do in first 24 hours after death
Get an official death pronouncement.
If the person died at home, call 911. No sirens. However, do not rush if a natural death or obvious suicide, etc…You need to have in writing prior to death that you are authorized to have the body or transport. One way to do this in many states is to write it in the advanced directives. Otherwise they may take the body for an autopsy or to mortuary without your involvement, and it can be hard to prove you should have the body if there is nothing in writing.
Sit with loved ones. Do not panic!!
You can keep the body longer than you have been led to believe. There is no rush. In most states you can have the body at least 24 hours before needing to ice.
Call the Mortuary, funeral home or person authorized to handle the body.
Inform family and friends privately and ask them to not share on social media until you do, etc. FB is not an appropriate way to find out someone is dead if you had a close relationship or connection. It’s best to call or text personally.
Take a break.
Dispose of medication properly.
Call medical equipment to pick up hospital beds and wheelchairs.
Local hospices are required to offer bereavement services to the community, whether or not your loved one was with them.
Compiled from the Hemlock Society
alzhiemers and dementia
Because this Directive is based on Washington State law, it may not be legal or honored outside of Washington. Although other states have enacted mental health advance directives, legal requirements differ from state to state. If you do not reside in Washington and you live in a state that has a mental health advance directive law similar to Washington’s, you may be able to modify this Directive to make it legal in your state. Even if this Directive is not legal where you live, you can still use it to document your wishes and provide a guide for your family, health care providers, long-term care providers, and others.
DEATH CLEANING TIPS
Death cleaning is not about dusting or mopping up; it is about a permanent form of organization that makes your everyday life run more smoothly.
Start with closet or clothes
Tell your friends and family what you are up to, they may want something you are getting rid of.
Don’t start with personal papers, letters or photos.
Start with something easy.
Round Robin where each person chooses one thing.
Walk through with masking tape…
Designate a cleaner for secrets.